Mothers Day can be incredibly difficult to deal with. Those who still have their Mothers will want to celebrate them but it also brings pain for what they want, or might have lost too.
Seeing huge displays in shops, receiving promotional emails and seeing tv adverts throughout the lead up and then scrolling through social media feeds full of photos of friends with their children – everywhere you turn can be filled with reminders and for anyone struggling today, I wanted to write a little something for you.
It’s okay to struggle with today.
The lead up to Mothers Day is one that has become more and more painful for me personally. It’s tough to constantly be reminded of what everyone else has and how easy they seem to have it (and of course, I know this may not always be the case, but it feels like it, right?) Yet, year after year.. I scroll through it. Wading my feet through the celebrations of Motherhood as if I’m walking through sinking mud. Once you start, it’s hard to stop. By doing this, I leave myself feeling like an outcast.. it’s a feeling that sticks with me for weeks afterwards. Weeks after the shop displays are put away, the unsold Mothers Day flowers are all sold at reduced prices and everyone else is blissfully back to their normal lives. I’m snappy, unhappy and most of all, just really bloody sad.
Every year, my mind tells me “I just want to be a Mother, but I’m not”
It wasn’t until very recently I started reminding myself that being a Mother is so much more than the act of giving birth. Society forgets to remind us that there are so many ways we can be Mothers.
Being a Mother is bravery, love, loss, caring, understanding, selflessness, strength, and patience. All of which I know I have become during my experiences with loss and infertility. And if you sit and think about it, I suspect you have too.
Now I realise, that waiting to be a Mother is the biggest lesson in being one.
No matter your situation, or what brings you to read this post – we are Mothers.
Whilst I am aware that no words can really make today feel better and I don’t believe in giving advice on how to deal with today either, I do hope you can take these words and see light in them.
I hope you see how wonderful you are, how patient you’re being and how brave it is to be experiencing the pain of waiting, the pain of loss… or both.
So please take today to celebrate you, eat your favourite foods, log offline and watch your favourite films, spend the day in your freshly washed PJ’s and remember, that you are the most special Mother there is.
Sending love, always.